End of the year update

This is going to be a long one
cause i am going to tell you abit about real live stuff that happend and about my art 
and what will become next year
so lets beginning

let first start about the bad things that happend or at least things that wasnt fun
-As most of you all know by now in sept i switch art teachers cause the one i had before kinda wasn,t really teaching me anything usefull she is probley really good at what she does with adults and stuff but it didn,t work for me thats also why ....
at the first 2 months of the year (when i was struggle to learn abit of the basic anatomy)i got kinda yelled at by my dad saying that i never will be a great artist like artists on deviantart and that they all are born with naturel talent and that it was just impossible to get as good as them.
yeah i was heart broking when i hear him yell at me like that(my parents don,t support me as a artist instead they keep telling me i won,t be as good as all the other artists here) i struggled the next view month not to give up and to keep going with doing art even thought i kinda felt like giving up after what my dad had dumped on me. But when we hit march thats when i really after easter try to get improve my art(i know that i am still not very good at what i do and that probley pro artists still see my as a newbie who,s art sucks) but i am at least glad i improve

-The reason i started to get more serious about art after easter was cause i got abandon just before easter.
Last year 2015 somewhere in July i met this girl at where i work and she like anime and manga gaming and drawing too i kinda thought we could be friends and i felt we had fun talking but around the end of oct she dispeared and never came back.
just when i got a laptop and my first tablet and stuff i tried to contacted her over and over again through different channels but i never got a answer i didn,t know back then but on monday before the easter weekend i noticed that she blocked me on fb and that i couldn,t contacted her anymore. i was very angry and didn,t understand why i got to be abandon again by someone who seem so nice and creative. i think that blocking someone is the most cowardly way of all to abandon someone it is like runaway from someone who hasn,t done anything bad to you. i got serious after abit of a depression and even wanne jump of the stairs or the window to end this stupid live where i can,t have friends but i didn,t do it in the end it would be pretty dumb to die cause of something like that.
i tried to learn all the anatomy from books and some real live studies and photo,s after switch teachers i started to improve in oct this year.

-In July/Aug of this year i met another girl she didn,t like the same things as me but she still wanted to be friends with me and she would help me to meet more of her friends that did like drawing and anime and stuff but in the end i got abandon again she even told me if i am that lonely to get a dog. a dog and a human friend ARE TO DIFFERENT THINGS!!! yeah i got mad when she said that i think that people like that don,t deserve friends at all in my country i guess people are selffish and don,t wanne help out are people.
in the end i didn,t made any new friends at all and my trust in people has become zero i don,t believe that anyone in this stupid country if wanted to be my friend and that i will always be alone fighting against all the pain and suffering by myself until i die. and yet i do wanne believe that someday that will changes but i don,t know if i ever can trust anyone again.
i am kinda sad that this year has almost ended and everything is still the same i sometimes can,t not even believe that people can make friends so easly and don,t get abandon by them or i am just unlucky all the time.

-anyway back to art i am happy i improvement and i will do even more my best and work hard so that someday i can be a amazing artist too i at least hope so
starting next year i am going live in a apartment by myself so i will be abit busy when 2017 starts 

and thats my upload i am sorry that i have only much bad stuff to tell and i don,t even know if many people will read this but good day